Sep 14, 2009

The voice of God

In the Falafel religious tradition we have a saying: you can love God or be angry with him but you cannot ignore him. God is such an imminent part of the Falafel religion that even the most secular Falafelers relate to God somehow, even if it means arguing his existence or questioning his morals, they still cannot ignore the Falafel God.

The Falalfel religion is an ancient beautiful tradition that brought the idea of monotheism into the world and even the Fouler's Koran and the Pizza-Pasta-Cola's New Testament respect the Falafel bible.

Another ancient saying claims that wherever there is one pack of Hummus there'll be a hundred different balls of Falafel. It seems that no one understands God in the same way, thus we have Reform Falafelers, Renewal Falafelers, Conservative Falafelers, Merely traditional Falafelers, and a dozen kinds of Orthodox Falafelers that could be identified solely by the form of their big hats and the quality of the strips on their black galabias….

We even have extremely weird orthodox Falafelers that believe falafeland was founded prematurely and we should have waited to the end of time by the bible prophecies when the God of Falafel himself will come and say it's ok to go to the promised Falafeland now. Meanwhile, they perceive the country of Falafeland as a huge mistake and they hang out with Ahmedinijad ploting ways to destroy it. We call them "self hating Falafelers". But don't be mistaken, it's not like they love foul so much, they're just waiting for the end of times to hear the voice of God and THAN they will found the same Falafeland anyway.

The real problem is that God doesn't raise his voice anymore. In the Falafel ancient scribes called "Talmud" we have a famous story about a problem that had to be sorted out by the Falafel Rabbis (which are like Kadi or Sheikh – they too have beards!) to decide if a certain stove was kosher or not. The Rabbis examined it and decided it wasn't but than a voice of God came outta the sky and said it actually is ok. But instead of listening to God, my friends, the Falafel Rabbis said that since the falafel tradition is a written tradition now, we do not listen to the voices anymore and it is the Rabbis who will represent and perform God's will and they say the stove isn't kosher and that's that.

This amazing story, my friends, comes to show you how all of us lost the voice of God and instead we got to believe some bearded guys who claim to speak for him. In Falafeland those bearded guys have done a lot of damage to our beautiful tradition and didn't have very sane interpretations of it. 20 years ago, everyone would marry in a religious falafel marriage, but today every 4th couple in Falafeland marries alternatively trying to stay away from the bearded guys who monopolized God but seem to keep drifting apart from the way of God.

It is our bearded guys and your bearded guys, my friends, which took us all astray. What choice do we have, since today God doesn’t speak from the skies anymore and if you claim to hear him they will put you in a mental hospital…. But here' a secret: I think we can all still hear the real voice of God that speaks to each and every one of us in our hearts and views us all as his sons and daughters. That real God doesn’t mind if he's called Allah or Jehovah or "hey, aren't you the father of that cute guy from Nazareth, what's his name, Jesus something?"…

And if you want to know God's will just look at the world around you, it probably looks exactly like God wants it to be otherwise it would be different, hehehe, makes sense right? so God wants both bearded people and secular people and falafel people and foul people….we all amuse him equally, I guess.

So eat some Falafel.

Ms. Falafel.

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